A story and the journey of my life. My childhood. I was born in Sri Lanka, migrated to Singapore and India before residing in the United Kingdom. Here I present 34 Images that exploit my memories and perspectives that are part of my childhood, traveling to Singapore and India, my life in the UK, Adulthood, Career etc.
From the day we learn to walk until the tender age of 5, we spend time on small things, we learn to feel, we live a world of our own. Here in these 34 Images you will find my life through objects that symbolize my childhood. The rabbit which follows through the 34 Images represent the 5 year old Soozana. The Soozana that was carefree, quiet and alone. My memories. A childhood of memories tied to Sri Lanka, the war and conflict, the memories of families and the hot sun rays that touch the skin. The life of beautiful moments, the life that really defines who we are, who we were deep inside. Then situations arise, I move and I migrated. You adapt and you forget. I learnt to forget my past, my childhood and the little me. I am exploring myself, who I want to be, Who I want to become. Advancing in materials and gadgets. Changes in the climate. Its not the hot sun rays anymore, but the cold ice stings in the Winter, December. The cold wind blows and we are left with only one thing. That is the memory of your past, of your childhood. We become adults, what was important before is never as important now. I live a comfortable life now. Tea and work. Not cassettes and original CD's but Iphones and Ipods for music. We fall in Love. The world is in my palm. Money. We distance ourselves from the inner child. We become rooted to the ground, we grow and grow and never has it been better. We tie up our childhood. Box them, our memories are taped and put away neatly. We don't have time. We don't have reasons to explore who we were when we were young. We just want to keep moving forwards, of course we all do.
But one day, on a beautiful Autumns evening we sit back on our chair and look out the window. We see the autumn leaves fall and it hinders deep down. Who were we? What have we become over time? Are we true? Are we real? Questions. We forgot who we once were. We forgot our past, memories, moments, simply because we are too busy living the new life. Good or bad, we open our hearts. We reach deep down within and ache. We ache to remember. We ache to see who we were, how our lives were. We ache to reach out for the box we taped away. We touch it with merely a finger and untie the heart. We open our eyes and there it is... the wonders of our memories and childhood. Like a dream, your eyes move side to side - watching everything you have ever lived. How your little feet waddled across the floor. How your mother fed you when you refused to eat. How I ran across the streets In Sri Lanka barefoot, over the sand and up the tree. As you see the life of your past shine and glisten in your eyes... you release it from capture. You release it from pain. You let it vanish in freedom and in heaven. You learn to let it go, let it be absorbed in your soul once again. You remember, I remember; who I once was again...
Please play the music as you scroll down the images
Is it very simple to understand what one feels when one see's something that no one else will? It is a very interesting discussion. First the eye see what it wants to see.
There is a part in our eyes called the Vitreous humor ( a Retina supporting, gel like substance), this is where the light is focused. Once the retina receives the image from which the cornea focuses on, through the internal lens. this is then converted into chemical electrical messages that are carried by the optical nerve to the brain. So that was a little scientific I suppose?
So I did a little research (Since I am a scientist, not in this field - but should it stop me?). One of the most important concepts in the sub-field of cognitive neuroscience is our ability to empathize. This is that of Imitation.
It is understood that imitation is a part of us that allows us to embrace and feel empathy. When one see's that someone is sad or happy, it activates sad and happy muscles in us evoking the exact same feeling towards that particular person respectively. However, if you do not feel anything, its simply that your relationship with that person/subject is restrained. These are caused by neurons in our body known as the mirror neurons. these are activated in the vision of the person who is observing another person/object that is visually active, show facial expression, emotions, and or movement. In photography, we see all of the above and we mirror emotions into the photographs that we take. This depiction of a still image is spoken very truly of what is 'stand-still' in front of the photographer. So when the objective matter is happy, we take photos that depict happiness. when the subject express mood and intimacy, we adjust our photographs to depict that. When the subject is awkward and confused, sadly we also end up photographing those emotions. All these work more naturally in photo-journalism, however this is all very dependent of the situation.
The mirror neurons were first discovered in the early 90's by Italian researchers who were investigating the role of the brain regions during muscle activation.
Clients are most likely to understand, we as photographers only reflect what is shown to us. We stand in front of you as a mirror. What is given to us, is kindly given to you. Although we tend to exaggerate and transform the Images with technical tools known as "post-production aka Editing", the base must be as good as the rest.
In photography what we capture is a collection of influences that is based on the judgment of someone's emotional state, goals and desires - this is how we engage with them. As part of the mirror neurons and the theory of mind, we are evolved to function in a state of mind to have the vision to feel and capture these emotions as an emotional response.
Not only has photography been an important factor in our life to allow us empathize, motivate others and encourage the communication and to connect with people from all over the world in photographs that speak for the world, speak for the couple, speak for the nature or speak for an individual but also a platform to grow.
We continue to understand humans, our own kind. We are still eager to know how one feels when one looks into their eyes, just as they step into their wedding vows. We wait for the right moment, as we know how one would react to certain situations and snap! We continuously look for beauty in everything we live for.
I'll end by saying photography is beautifully woven in the words and visions of Art & Science.
Research articles by:
That beautiful moment where the bride holds her chest in, breathes heavy and closes her eyes and prays as she realises - This is it.
The make up artist was Nisha MUA.
Shaylla wore a beautiful Fuschia pink for her first saree and changed into a dark chilli red saree (Koorai).
Interesting how I managed to capture this Image of our beautiful bride Shaylla Rajah. I remember Shaylla messaged me on my page, requesting for me to take her wedding photos in Frankfurt - Germany. Unfortunately I had another client asking for the exact same date that of Shaylla’s and I could not make a quick decision as the previous client had not confirmed her booking as of yet. Shaylla was persistent on having me as her Photographer - So I mailed the previous client asking if she was not to reply me within a few days I will have to give the booking to someone else. And as noted, the previous client hadn’t replied and I agreed to take Shaylla’s wedding in Germany.
Today I tell myself, I am so glad I was able to document Shaylla’s wedding.
This shot has given me accolades of acknowledgement internationally and locally. If I remember very clearly - whilst this moment of tying the wedding chain around the bride was just about to happen, I stood there silently holding my 70-200mm Lens fixed on a 7D camera; with my eyes looking through the camera. Suddenly there was a huge number of iphones to ipad that started to appear in the forefront of my lens. I looked up at the bride and the groom and they could see I was struggling. The groom Arash quickly pointed his finger to the side and asked me to move closer - so I would retain myself from any disturbances. So I moved. You see, in a Tamil Hindu wedding - the groom swaps sides with the bride (The groom moves to the left to tie the chain round) - so where I now stood was at the back of the groom. I panicked. Arash started tying the knot - Without any hesitations I jumped over a few objects, fruits and plates that lay on the floor and without thinking twice and snapped at the brides face thrice with one zoom lens fixed camera and then with the wide lens fixed camera. I looked up and saw that the tie was now knotted at the back and I looked down at my camera. I took a deep breath and pressed on the picture view button and saw these shots were taken. I sighed with relief. I didn’t think those pictures would change my career so much, but It did. This extremely emotive Image of Shaylla was a blessing in disguise.